The prodigal gay...

How is it that some of the most important people in my life have drifted out of it while others who have worked so hard to make themselves unimportant come back in with every bad tide?

The answer in both instances is likely apathy. But I think I will at least complain about it since it's tangentally related to my dating life, and that's always amusing. Plus, I just totally got to make up a word!

I've really scaled back on my visits with the DEA at their local watering hole, Purr. Since I am usually broke these days and they seem unable to keep from truly pissing me off through incomprehensibly random acts of theirs and then shrugging them off with a "Well, that's your problem" attitude. Aaah, frenemies! But, Thursday, I finished work too late to go to the gym so I figured I would go see what was what in their "world".

We are sitting there on my third beer when this little hottie walks up and hugs LCR (Log Cabin Republican) rather enthusiastically. Now, I am not surprised, I have known these guys for a couple of years and they have many friends who also seem to drift in and out of their existence, much as I do. This was not remarkable in and of itself, so I just sat there and passed the interruption by observing the rise of this hot guy's shirt tail so I could admire his tramp stamp tattoo. Chip comes back from somewhere and joins in his husband's reunion with this new comer.

Then I realize that it's BB, and they seem oblivious to the fact that we "know" each other, which is awesome since they sorta facilitated our meeting inthe first place. The flash memory of the good drunk saves them again! I fire off a little "Holy Christ!" text to them both for distraction and continue being ignored as only I can do. I'm thinking, "Wow, I conjured another fag out of thin air!" since I had recently been thinking about the odds of running into BB in his new hometown of Long Beach when I visit my parents there next week. Poof! He shows up in the Emerald City. I am musing at my own power.

Which is when they both whip out their phones to add BB's new phone number.

Which is when I realize he has moved back to Seattle.

Which is when he realizes who I am.

So much realization for such a barely sober crowd.

He moves into hug me. This action always confuses me, I grew up a little coolish on the touchy feelies of the world and have even only recently begun to tell my parents I love them when closing a phone conversation with them. I accept hugging as a greeting within this gay subculture of mine, but some people take it a step further and add a kiss-then it's all about placement. Pre-emptively, I plant one on his cheek as we embrace.

I notice LCR looking at me with a raised eyebrow as, I assume, he reads my text.

BB begins catching up, enthusiastically. "What's new? How's work? Who's cutting your hair?!" This last as he runs his fingers through my locks. I return the requisite answers and enjoy the light attention while peppering him with my own polite conversation...and then I realize he's building his client book again.

Yeah, he cut my hair, how did you think I met him? You know I have a thing for barbers. And other men.

Well, I'm not interested in going back down this road, so I deflect his advice to come see him with a "I'm not getting on a bus for a haircut" comment. Then he buys a round of shots.

For the record, I only had two shots and three more beers this evening, but somehow I had already finished paying. Free booze and I go waaaaay back.

Someone next to me leaves and he tries to steal the seat, only to realize they have only just stepped out to smoke. He is not enjoying being short and unseated in this now crowded bar. He is also not enjoying me not offering him my seat. Read between the lines, BB.

He moves in and out of conversation a few times.

The last time he moves in, he is all about getting my number. Which I see him type in his phone without entering a name. Then my phone rings. Well, I'm not answering it here I tell him.

To which he replies, "Now you have my new number".

Then I decide it's time to go upstairs and chat with the doctor's group that is assembled there for a little fun, thinking as I leave that I need that passive bs that BB just gave me in my life about as much as I need someone who admits that they aren't very good at dating. Oh, wait...those both came from the same person. I mean, seriously...can you not put your ego at risk enough to say, "I'm gonna give you my new number. Call me."?

This town sucks at the dating. I have all but given up on it and just begun to enjoy the scenery. Prettier than trees, but just as dumb. And not as useful...

Soon, though, I will tell you what I have been doing to keep from giving completely up on dating in the last few months. It's a story that I should probably never tell and one that might be mistaken-correctly so- for bragging.

And the guy cutting my hair now? He does a way better job than BB.